Tuesday Blues

It's not Monday, but I'm still singing the blues. What can I say, I'm missing my baby. Or more accurately, I'm getting frustrated with being in a long distance relationship. At first, I didn't wanna even attempt it. Of course, I don't know a single couple that has survived one of these LDR's. More often than not, one person cheats, or the couple drifts so far apart that they wonder what happened. That was my line of reasoning, but somehow, I was ok with giving it a shot. Why not? What was there to lose.

So, here we are. Nine months later. A lot has happened in nine months. Tragedies, sickness, meeting the clan, even a near proposal (that I unknowingly squashed by describing my ideal engagement ring, leading to a postponement of the plan....thank God for brothers who keep you in the loop). When I think about it, he's everything I could possibly want in a man. Of course he's got his weaknesses, namely, I wish he were more ambitious and aggressive. But then, we can't have two such people in a relationship, otherwise, there'll be fireworks daily. Yet, I crave those fireworks.

I feel like I'm simply going through the motions of being a girlfriend. We've talked every single day since I moved, had a few fights too, but nothing we couldn't work out. Now, I don't even initiate the phone calls. When he does call, I find myself getting impatient and wondering how fast I can get him off the phone. Lately, I've found myself wondering when was the last time we shared a good laugh, or had a good conversation. I can't remember. I consciously made a decision that will lead to my not to seeing him this summer, choosing instead to put my family first. Perhaps it's the stress of the last few months that's taking its toll, or maybe the looming life and death surgery of my favorite uncle that's got me distracted. Whatever it is has really done me in this time. I've always been positive that the two of us would somehow end up together, yet I find myself questioning if I really wanna make that commitment. All evidence screams "yes", but still...

On another side note, anyone ever been to a Nonini concert? Wanna venture an opinion? I'm on a mission to meet more Kenyans in this city (although I'll admit that a Nonini concert is probably not the place to go looking for friends). But, I'm not looking to make friends as much as I'm looking for party friends. I don't understand the American bar culture. At least I can dance at a club, but none of my new friends seem to enjoy the clubbing scene. I find this strange as it is the complete opposite of what I'm used to. Before I moved here, I'd never been inside a bar. Anyway, back to Nonini concert, is it worth attending?