Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Bad Jokes

Here's a really bad joke Steve once sent me. Obviously, I don't have photographic memory so I'll paraphrase it and it probably won't come out right, but here goes. There was this blonde bimbo who went to visit the doctor and said, "doctor, I think my breasts are made of water". Puzzled, the doctor was silent for a few moments before asking, "what makes you think that"? The blonde bimbo, pleased with herself replied, "because everytime my boyfriend touches my nipples I get wet"....

Here's another really bad joke. Steve wants to get back with me. Here's the hard part. He enlisted the help of his dad to talk to me. You know, I've come to the conclusion that a lot of men are idiots. Steve insists that he never cheated on me with his ex, and in fact, he hadn't seen her in over a year. Apparently, she started calling him earlier this year and he started reminiscing about the relationship they had. He was still looking for closure because the chick had just walked out on him without an explanation why. His phone calls and emails had gone unreplied and finally he gave up. But, that never stopped him from wondering all the "what ifs" because they had been pretty serious (to the point where he almost proposed). Her latest reason for walking out? She was too busy with school and couldn't handle being in a relationship.

So what does the clever guy do when the chick starts calling him and claiming that she still loves him? He starts fantasizing about what could have been. He feels like he's torn between me and his ex. So he runs to daddy for advice. By the time I was reading that email, he hadn't resolved his feelings. After I asked him about it, he of course told me everything (the fool has always been honest) and I was super mad and just couldn't think straight for a few days. Since then, he's obviously had a chance to see the ex and he realizes that he was simply elevating her onto a pedestal and she's nothing like what he remembered. Hence the reason for his coming back to ask me to give him a second chance. Yes, and his dad agrees with him, perhaps because he adores me and has this image of "the perfect daughter-in-law to be".

Now, guys, please explain this phenomenon to me cuz I simply don't get it. How many times have I heard stories that closely resemble this? How in the world can he even justify us getting back together? He's quick to point out that he knows it'll take time to re-build the trust and all that BS, but seriously!! This is a no-brainer. Of course I need to look him in the eye and tell him to "fuck off" so I can move on with my life. Except....

There is that little matter of love. What a strong emotion that is! Sometimes, I even allow myself to entertain the idea that somehow, I can find it in me to ignore this minor "irritation" that is his ex and try to re-build the relationship. That's when I quickly pick up the phone and call my fav cousin for a pep talk. You know, the kind that goes like, "You are so beautiful, smart, with the personality of an angel. You can have any guy in the world". Or, "There are so many Steves out there, move on already". Or, "You are too young to even be in this situation. Let it go". Or my favorite, "Good heavens! You're starting to sound like those desperate chicks we hate."

Yeah, that does snap me back to my senses, until I go to sleep and lay in bed thinking about Steve. Wondering what he's doing, if he's also thinking about me. And then he'll send a text to say good night, and I know without a doubt that he is thinking about me. I'm seriously tripping, and I really should know better. I SHOULD.