Saturday, September 08, 2007

Too Much Hype

Have you ever waited so long to try out something because it seemed like the rest of the world had already tried it out and loved it and you were the only one left out? Have you ever gone to a super hyped up movie expecting the world to explode into fireworks, only to come out disappointed and wondering why you even bothered?

Well, that was me today. It had nothing to do with a movie though. I was talking to Steve on the phone and by the time I hang up, I was so horny I could have simply creamed myself without trying. I was lying in bed, sexually frustrated, when I suddenly remembered that somewhere deep in my yet to be unpacked suitcase lay a vibrator that Steve had gotten me as a going away present. I have never in my life used one, although I know plenty of chicks who have. I'm not sure why I've never owned one myself, but from all the hype surrounding the little toy, I've always wondered if it really is as good as it sounds.

I looked around my apartment, only to realize that I didn't have batteries. I was too horny to give up so I decided to go to the gas station across the street and get some. As I put the batteries in, my heartrate increased ten fold and I could barely contain my excitement. Finally, I was holding a vibrator in my hand and I was about to experience an earth shattering orgasm. Perhaps I could even have multiple orgasms for the first time in my life! A fleeting thought crossed my mind: what if I become addicted? What if it's so good that I never wanna have normal intercourse again? As I adjusted the speed on that vibrator, all thoughts evaporated and the only thing I wanted to do was close my eyes and prepare myself to go to heaven.

Ok, I realize this blog is rated G so let me skip the details. But, I have never been so disappointed in my life. First of all, the so called vibrations feel as though someone has a stick in there and is shaking it up and down, only there's not enough room to shake the stick. And the orgasm is no different than normal masturbation...nothing like the real deal. So how anyone can even become addicted to a vibrator is beyond me. I had to call Steve and let him know that I still prefer the real thing. All he could do was laugh, I'm not sure if it was out of pure amusement or relief that his girlfriend would still be horny when he came to visit.

So, if you're one of those chicks that's never used a vibrator and have always wondered what it feels like, believe me, there's nothing you're missing. And for the guys that are even remotely concerned about their chicks using a vibrator, really, there's no competition there.

16 comments:

Klara said...

LOL
Good to hear that...Then I wont be even trying it out...

S said...

Hehehe sorry about that little (huge?) disappointment. I never did have much faith in that thing. Anything mechanical is just that.. mechanical.

Anonymous said...

Awwwww Lord!!!!
And a very big Amen to that! Do spread the good word to all that want to hear.

|d®| said...

Ha ha, I see the silver bullet's not fast enough, huh? Well, meaty enough? lol!

Acolyte said...

Hmmmmm I see steve is still in the picture, I think I need to back track and read some old posts, at least this means that there is hope for us men out there!

Anonymous said...

Wow! That's all I can say see I'm a man of few words

Anonymous said...

Yes Kirima!! Let the word spread....not unlike those legs...that stori seriously Chambuaad my lungs

Anonymous said...

Phew! ***a big sigh of relief! Spread the gospel!

Anonymous said...

LOL

Kwanza bantu wacha siasa. Ati spread the word not unlike those legs?

SBB this is good news. Spread the word, just the word. And where are the addicts?

Archer said...

HALLELUJAH!!!

AMAZONIA said...

i can relate with the concept of something being overly hyped, but in relation to the vibrator.. me thinks perhaps you havent discovered how to make it work for you, another person might have a different experience

Anonymous said...

this time i hope my comment makes it...kila time elec keeps hepaing....

WOOOHOOOO! nothing like the real thing!

YES!

SisBigBones said...

LOL...why do guys worry about chicks and their vibrators? Glad I could lay you guys' fears to rest. Now, I've used that vibe a couple more times, but it's like masturbation. It's better than nothing, but I would choose the real thing any day.

Anonymous said...

spread...the word....to all women...young and old alike...

flawsandall said...

my hand is all I need, some porn will not be bad for the backdrp....I repented though......lol

Princess said...

The guys seem truly thrilled about this post..LOL!! I've never tried one because it never appealed to me and I prefer the real deal so it is interesting that you confirmed my thoughts on this issue.