Do You Believe...?

You wake up one Sunday (or Saturday) morning after a night of partying and you don't feel tired at all. Unlike a normal weekend where you would have spent half the day in bed and the other half lazing around the house, you feel strangely energized and a sudden urge overcomes you. Somehow, you feel that you have to go to church. After all, it's only 9:00 in the morning and you haven't been to church in a few weeks. The longer you sit there debating it, the guiltier you feel about missing church all those weeks, and the stronger the urge to do something different for a change.

So you jump in the shower, pull out that modest dress you keep at the back of your closet for this occassion, go online and google a church. There are lots of churches that jump out at you and you randomly choose one, not because it's the nearest one, but because it's on a road you've heard of. By 10:30, you're ready to head out and hoping to make it to the 11:00 service.

You get to church fifteen minutes late and try to find a seat at the back, near the aisle, so you can slip out when the preacher starts getting boring. At least you'll still feel nice that you made it to church, even if it was only for an hour. Unfortunately for you, all the aisle seats are taken so you squeeze in between old ladies, miffed that you can't easily escape. You resolve to simply daydream when you get bored and suffer through the entire service. After all, it's only two hours.

Soon, the familiar ritual starts: announcements, song, prayer, song, offerings & tithes, song...right about now, you start thinking about what to do in the afternoon. You're only five minutes away from the mall, so you could go shopping right after service and call one of your friends to join you. Just as you're picturing that sexy pair of jeans you were gonna buy from Express, you hear someone sniffling.

You look up to find the choir leader in the process of introducing the song they're about to sing and all of a sudden she's overcome by bouts of crying...something about her best friend hurting her deeply. You roll your eyes and wonder why people always tell their life stories, especially when service is already running late. You look at the time: 12:45. Damn! The preaching hasn't even started. You're about to continue your shopping spree in your head when all of a sudden, some elderly lady takes the pulpit and proclaims, "The Holy Spirit is present here today".

Oh! Crap! You look around and everyone is either sniffling or their eyes are shining. You start wondering whether now would be a good time to make that escape, but then you realize you're stuck in the middle of the pew and can't exactly slip out unnoticed. You silently curse and try your hardest to block out what's happening. You've never been a big fan of stuff like this and you simply don't function very well in an emotionally charged environment, be it due to the "Holy Spirit", at a funeral, or whatever.

There's an eerie silence in the church. Even the piano is no longer playing in the background. That same old lady looks right at you and says, "The Holy Spirit impressed upon me to come up here and deliver a message from God..." You start freaking out because you realize that the lady still has her eyes fixed on you. "...there's a young lady here today who underwent some childhood trauma and has been struggling all her life..." By this time you are completely hyperventilating. "....and God wants you to know that...." The old lady's eyes are still trained on you and you feel blood rushing to your head and you're about to pass out. You tell yourself to stop being silly and try to prevent yourself from fainting, because you most certainly will. By the time that feeling passes, you realize that the lady has gotten off the podium. Worse yet, you didn't hear that last part of her message. You convince yourself that she was crazy, and even if she weren't, she was totally talking about someone else. I mean, how many young ladies are there in that whole church?

You spend the next hour trying to block out what you heard, but the voice in your head keeps nudging you to...do what? Find the lady and ask her what on earth she was talking about? As soon as service is over, you walk out, trying to make yourself invisible and head straight to your car. You forget all about the mall, head straight home, and vow never to go back to that church again. In a few days, you'll have convinced yourself that nothing ever happened.