Thursday, August 23, 2007

Top Three Ways...

Another dreary, foggy day. I guess that means summer's over. I'm moving in ten days and I still haven't done jack as far as packing goes, and I'm running around having coffee/lunch/dinner dates with everyone in my life except the one that counts the most: Steve. You'd think I'd be spending every waking minute with him, but it turns out I've only seen him once this whole week (keep in mind we used to see each other everyday). I must be weaning myself off him already.

This will be my first time ever being in a long distance relationship, and I thought it might be fun to hear from the veterans what their opinion is about:

a) Top three ways to make a long distance relationship work

b) Top three ways to ensure a long distance relationship doesn't last

Be creative, honest, funny...

21 comments:

Klara said...

LDR are the hardest aki been there still there!
Advice just try keep in touch & kip the flame burning as much as you can!
It will never work if there are suspicious or lack of trust & respect
Good Luck dia!!

Anonymous said...

Top 3 ways to make a LDR Work.
1.Keep in touch always
2.Have fun when together and don't mention the distance
3.Buy a toy.

Top 3 ways to ensure a LDR doesn;t last.
1.Blame him/her
2.Think about it all the time
3.Start prefering the toy to him/her
Anway I can't lie they are hard and hasn't worked for me but I still try.

Anonymous said...

na hapo...i stay on the sidelines...never been in one and i lie if i know the first thing to do...but making it notr work si ni rahisi...lenga kabisa, change numbers...my penny mbi...mbili!

Anonymous said...

LDR are hard,
My take
1. communicate - alot
2. Trust
3. Very dark shades (so that u dont see other fyyyyne thangs...)

What will make it not work
1. CFA
2. FWB
3. The other party finds out about the above....

gishungwa said...

For:
communicate alot update on whats going on and have fun do stuff with friends and alone.
Be faithful
Trust
Against:
Make assumptions
Lack of openness
Play your dude

Nakeel said...

Communication.
Trust and prayers to be strong.
Open mind.

Less
Dont bother to answer.
Flirt around seriously.
Get laid in the next four days in new town. Lol.

SisBigBones said...

@klara...how long were u together before you went LD? glad you two are still working on your r/ship :)

@kirima, LOL...Steve just bought me a vibe that I promised I won't use 'till after I move. Now let's hope I don't become addicted to it...

@Modo...hope you keep it that way.

@xs, know where I can get those shades? Yaani one of the guys I interviewed with is HHOOTT, and has started chatting me up. I just hope he's an asshole, that'll make it easier to ignore him. Now, maybe I missed something, lakini what is CFA and FWB??

@gish, that's the same order I would put my top three, lakini historically, I've struggled with the trust part, although I'm getting better.

@Naks...does open minded include my considering to send him nude photos? I'm too paranoid some friend of his will stumble across them and they'll end up on the internet.

SisBigBones said...

@xs..scratch my comment. Now that I've read Archer's post, I get it :D

Anonymous said...

Take this from the King himslef, having jumped from one into another.

Distance to love is like wind to fire, it rekindles the great and diminishes the little.

So how big is your fire?

Anonymous said...

LOL. Steve bought what you now? daayyyyyymmmm

Makanga said...

LDRs only work if

-there is a resolution, as in there has to be a definite deadline to when you will be together again.

-you send each other at least 6 sms and 2 emails a day, not forgetting the goodnite lovey vybe on the phone

-mutual rub outs.


Not if:

-you get it flirting in your new locale.

- you do not follow the 621 Theorem (6 sms, 2 email and phone call) thing like a good muslim.

-can't send him some booty flicks.

Prettylyf said...

To make it work all it takes is communication, talk on the phone, text, e-mail...it's not as easy as it reads it takes a lot of patience, trust, just the whole business

To ensure it doesn't last, gee did I read this right? okie cheat (on him with someone else), dishonesty, and lack of communication.

Ask me am the horse's mouth...

Nice blog, not been here before. Let me bookmark

Jadekitten said...

It's good to see you back:-)

LDR's are hard. HARD. But, if u truly think it's worth it, then what do you have to lose? At least you can say you tried:-)

For: Trust, trust, trust. Don't let your suspicions get the better of you, unless of course they're founded. Keep in touch...and keep in touch some more.

Against : Start believing the voices in your head. Don't draw conclusions if say, he doesn't reply an sms or pick a call for whatever reason. Strive always to be calm, and to believe.

Easier said than done, I know. But all you can do is try, no? Good luck.

Klara said...

2 years! It's tough lakini am still trying! You will survive lakini!

Half 'n' half said...

am gone for two days and you sneak back bila reporting arrival? good to have you back! Let me also read couz am having me one of those!

SisBigBones said...

@Bomseh...I like the fire analogy. I guess we'll find out once I move.

@xs...I know. I still can't get over it. I asked for one jokingly, he decided to get it anyway.

@makanga...I think that's totally true. We have the timeline of a year. If things are working, he's planning on selling his house and following me next summer. It's good to know there's an end coming, but I don't know how to get through the next year. And, why 621? Is that your scientific conclusion? LOL. I don't know about this booty pics biz. The last time I did it...funny memories...

@Pretty..thanks for stopping by. That patience bit will kill me. I tend to want something NOW. It'll be a good lesson to learn.

@Jade..thanks ma. You took my fear and put it in words. That trust thing will probably be our undoing if we don't last. Even though his ex is totally out of the picture, I know i'll come up with a million new ways to bring her back in the picture in my mind. Trust will also be a good lesson for me to learn.

@Klara...2 years & counting? I give you props. How do you keep that fire burning? I'm scared after awhile, everything will start feeling like one big boring routine.

@HnH...pole mami. I see we have enough people to form a LDR support group. Kwanza, I have a bone to pick with you and Bantu. Bookworms ilienda wapi?

egm said...

Like Modo, I haven't been in any, so I'll just observe and learn...

Prettylyf said...

Hey how're you hacking the new town/city/state?

spicebear said...

i can see i'm a bit late here. long distance realtionships suck unless you are wiling to put in the work required, which is a lot. so here are my three

1. discuss what you want you of the relationship. how many phone calls, sms'or emails per day or week or whatever. that way there is no resentment of ati one of you is doing all the work and the other one barely makes an effort.

2. go out. no, seriously. the best way for insecurity and paranoia to set in is to sit at home and twiddle your thumbs. don't stop living just cos your significant other is not around.

3. if you feel paranoid and insecure talk about it. sometimes a little reassurance goes a long way. don't let it get out of hand though, if you have trust issues then the relationship is doomed anyway.

what not to do? the opposite of the three mentioned above. lol, it's not just that i am too lazy to type out stuff, but what every one else has said about jealousy and all that is true. hope it works out.

Princess said...

Ways to make it work:

1) Phone sex
2) Communication
3) Visit as often as your budgets allow

Ways to Kill it:
1)Don't communicate
2)Every time you talk to him gush about your new friends, hot male friends, hot male co-workers
3)Cannot think of a third!!

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